By Sarah Bull
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Amy Winehouse's ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil has opened up about his life with the late singer in an intevriew with Jeremy Kyle.
Questioned about his life with the Back To Black star, who died aged 27 in July 2011, Blake admitted he was responsible for first introducing Amy to heroin, and said he believes the drug was the main factor in causing the singer's destructive path.
Recalling the night Amy smoked the substance for the first time. Blake said: 'I'd taken it about three or four times, we were in a hotel in east London and I think I had about £10 of heroin with me, which is something I used to do after a club.Â
It was my doing: Blake Fielder-Civil accepted responsibility for Amy Winehouse getting addicted to heroin as he admitted to Jeremy Kyle that he was there when she first tried the drug
'I was smoking it on foil and she said, "Can I try some?" I think I might have put up a weak resistance, the fact is whatever I said she did end up having some.'
Tragic: Blake and Amy married in Miami in 2007
When asked by host Jeremy if that moment was the crossroads of the musician's life, he replied: 'Well, yeah.'
Blake was joined on Wednesday morning's episode of Kyle by his mother Geraldine and his girlfriend Sarah Aspin, with whom he has two children.Â
Appearing humble and repentant on the show, Blake, who has beaten his own addictions following a successful stint in rehab, said he regrets ever taking drugs with Amy, and feels tremendous guilt about her passing - admitting that when she died he lost his 'best friend'.
He added that while the first time Amy dabbled with heroin was 'around two months' before they wed in Miami in May 2007, she didn't get addicted straight away.
He continued: 'I've admitted that I was there when Amy had (heroin) for the first time, it was my doing, I don't think she'd ever experienced it without me ... the thing wit h heroin is you don't take it once and get a dependency straight away it can take quite a while to be build up a dependency.
'I got my first habit where I had to do it every day before we went to get to America to get married. So it was maybe two months after that (she needed it). We smoked, she never injected it, I did inject eventually but not with Amy, after the relationship ended.
Emotional: Blake appeared humble and repentant as he opened up to Kyle about his regrets
Family support: Blake was joined on the show by his mother Geraldine
'We were using it once a week for about two to three weeks, to then twice a week and then it gradually built up like that. One day we were laying in bed and Amy said she felt like she had a cold and I felt awful as well and I said, "I think this is withdrawal." And she said, "I'm not doing that again." Because it felt so horrible.'
Asked if he wishes he'd never given her that first hit of heroin, he replied: 'That goes without saying, of course. I have to be really conscious about what I say because I don't want it to seem that I'm shirking responsibility.
'The fact is is that of course I regret it; not only just because of the damage it's caused Amy, and the loss of her life and the damage to her family, but also to my family and also to me. We've all gone through this addiction.'
Blake also revealed he had been in prison when he was informed of Amy's tragic passing following an alcohol binge.
Moving on: Blake now has two children with girlfriend Sarah Aspin, and has successfully completed rehab
Emotional: It all appeared a bit much for Sarah at points during the interview
He said: 'It was the weekend and there was a knock at the door and the officers sort of opened the door and said can you come with us. I didn’t really think too much of it but it was slightly unusual to be opened up and walked down to the office.
'And then one of the senior officers asked me a few questions and said "are you still married to Amy" and I said "no" and he said "this is never easy", he said "Amy died earlier that day".Â
'And for about two or three minutes I was probably.. maybe a bit pathetic, I said "no no that’s not true it won’t be Amy it will be someone that looks like her, you know that’s what it will be, it will be a hoax". You know like people do on Twitter or whatever and say someone’s passed away and it just turns out to be some sort of joke.
Struggles: Amy had a long struggle with alcohol and drug addiction
Contrast: Amy looked much healthier and happier at the beginning of her music career back in 2004
'So I made them show me about six or seven websites and each time they showed me the computer I’m finding it harder and harder to say no, you know and eventually I think they got the BBC up and they updated it so it was within the past minute and obviously at that point I mean I broke down and couldn’t stop crying and then I had to get put back in my cell.'
And when Blake finally got out of prison and turned on his phone, he found messages that he had received from Amy prior to her passing.
He said: 'I don’t know what dates they were from because when I turned the phone on they were there but there was one talking about being a godmother to my son Jack. We had sort of spoken in the previous weeks about her visiting me and we had had maybe one emotional phone call when we’d said you know "are we thinking about maybe getting back together at some point?"
'She said that her doctor had said to her, her doctor must have been a woman, because she said to her "you’re never not going to be in love with Blake" and Amy had said "yeah I know" and she asked me if she could come and visit me. I’d written a letter saying I don’t know what we’re going to do of course I’m always going to love you and then we had a correspondence for about a week where we sort of ummed and aahed about it and then in the end it was sort of like what are we doing?'
Blake added that the last words Amy ever said to him were: 'You're never going to lose me'.
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