Single white female, 30, loves dogs, has herpes: How dating sites for STD sufferers are on the rise

Single white female, 30, loves dogs, has herpes: How dating sites for STD sufferers are on the rise

By Catherine Townsend

PUBLISHED: 16:46 EST, 29 March 2013 | UPDATED: 17:37 EST, 29 March 2013

Keep it light. Don't talk about exes. Be mysterious. Most love advice for singles warns us that giving out too much personal information is a bad idea for a first date. But when is the right time to bring up a sexually transmitted disease?

Obviously it should be mentioned before things get physical, but where is the line? Several dating forums debate whether to divulge before the first meeting, after the first kiss or only once there is a real relationship possibility on the table.

Now, according to the New York Daily News, online destinations for people living with STDs are on the rise - and potentially making those awkward conversations a bit easier.

Icebreaker: STD dating websites can help people avoid potentially awkward first date conversations (posed by models) 

We already have dating websites that cater to every subset of the population from the Amish and adults who wear diapers to Ayn Rand lovers. And the potential dating pool for singles with STDs is a lot bigger.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that there are now 110 million Americans living with sexually transmitted infections, and more than 20 million new ones each year.

Statistics show as many as one in four women - and almost one in five men - has herpes. Yet there is still shame attached to being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease. But these dating sites help challenge the stigma by bringing the information out into the open.

At first glance, the pages of U.S.-based sites like HMates and STD Soulmates, as well as the global Positive Singles, look similar to more mainstream dating sites like Match or Zoosk.

Out in the open: Dating website Positive Singles, where users can choose from a drop-down menu and identify their infection, is one of many catering to singles with STDs

They allow users to filter by gender, age, and location; but they also have an extra menu where users can specify if they are living with herpes, HIV, HPV, hepatitis B, HIV, AIDS, syphilis and even thrush.

Some critics claim that the sites could further ostracize people living with an illness. But after browsing the sites, it's clear that they provide more than love matches - they also offer a supportive environment and a safe place to ask questions and become educated.

Some also have a list of STD treatment centers, and lots of links to facts and counseling. 

As the sites grow in popularity, it appears that awareness is spreading to more mainstream dating sites as well.

Large dating pool: The CDC reports that there are now more than 110 million Americans living with new and existing sexually transmitted infections

OkCupid has a herpes forum, and some daters on Craigslist personals have put their disease in bold print with headers like 'Prince Charming has Herpes' and 'Tattooed, muscular, no drama, no kids...but I do have herpes.'

These sites may cater to a niche market, but the reality is that people living with STDs are no longer the minority - the  CDC website reads 'most sexually active men and women will get HPV at some point in their lives.'

Ninety percent of the infections go away by themselves within two years, but some can persist and cause additional complications like genital warts or cervical cancer.

Hopefully the rising popularity of these sites will help educate everyone, regardless of medical history.