- Actress Gwyneth Paltrow speaks of her miscarriage for the first time
- Confesses she 'nearly died' when third pregnancy went wrong
- She admits she is 'missing her third child' but is wary of trying again
- Read the full exclusive interview from MoS You magazine here
By Lara Gould
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Gwyneth Paltrow has spoken for the first time about her anguish at losing her third child in a devastating miscarriage which almost claimed her life, too.
In an unusually candid interview with The Mail on Sunday’s You magazine today, the Hollywood star confides that she is ‘missing’ the baby.
And she confesses that she still longs for another child, despite having admitted that she may now have ‘missed the window’ to become a mother again.
Confessions: Gwyneth Paltrow has spoken exclusively to the Mail on Sunday about the distress of her miscarriage which has left her wary of trying for another baby
This is the first time that the 40-year-old actress has told of the miscarriage, which she describes as a ‘really bad experience’ that has left her worried about trying for another child.
Ms Paltrow has two children with her husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin: daughter Apple, eight, and son Moses, who turns seven next month. Both are keen for a younger sibling.
‘My children ask me to have a baby all the time,’ she says. ‘And you never know, I could squeeze one more in. I am missing my third. I’m thinking about it.
‘But I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn’t work out and I nearly died. So I am like, “Are we good here or should we go back and try again?’’
Glow again: Gwyneth, pictured pregnant with Moses in 2006, says she would love another child
Ms Paltrow also confesses that she feels ‘very broody’ whenever she sees friend Beyonce Knowles with her one-year-old daughter Blue Ivy. The singer also suffered a miscarriage before becoming a mother.
Ms Paltrow, who gives no details of when she suffered the miscarriage, also praises her husband’s talents as a father. ‘Regardless of what happens in our marriage, I chose the best father,’ she says.
‘[Chris] is so good to the children and to know that you had kids with such a good man is a real weight off you. We are committed co-parents, we make all the decisions together and lean on each other for support.’
Last week she caused a stir by revealing that she and Chris, 36, who live in a 33-room house in London, had banned their children from eating high-carb foods such as pasta, bread and rice.
Her revelations about motherhood come less than a year after she spoke of her dilemma over whether to try for a third child as she headed towards her 40th birthday.
In an interview last August, she w as asked if she would have another baby and replied: ‘I would love to, but I don’t know if I can go back to diapers and things like that.
'I’m so past that, I think I may have missed the window. I think maybe when Moses was three I would have done it .??.??. but now he’s six and such a guy I feel like I’m out of the baby phase. If it happens, it happens.’
Last year it was reported that Gwyneth and Chris, who have been married since 2003, may move to Los Angeles to be closer to Gwyneth’s mother Blythe, 70, after they bought a £6.6?million house there.
YOU magazine exclusive: Gwyneth Paltrow on the health scare that inspired her new cook book
By Jane Gordon
It took a major health scare two years ago for Gwyneth Paltrow to realise that striving for the ‘perfect’ life was making her ill.
Now, with a new cookbook inspired by the feel-good eating plan that helped her recovery, she tells Jane Gordon that today’s more relaxed Gwynnie is all about balancing the good and the naughty within
Up close and personal: It took a complete breakdown which saw Gwyneth Paltrow fear she has suffered a stroke for her to change her diet
All sort of worries and prejudices assailed me when I first picked up Gwyneth Paltrow’s new book It’s All Good, with its cover picture of the 40-year-old actress looking radiantly beautiful without make-up or airbrushing.
How was it possible for a cookbook that took as its baseline the elimination diet (no dairy, eggs, sugar, corn, wheat, gluten, potatoes, tomatoes, red meat, shell or deep-water fish) to offer recipes that were as ‘delicious’ or ‘easy’ as Gwyneth claims?
But in the week before our meeting I got busy with the book and â€" despite my initial scepticism â€" found myself savouring Gwyneth’s recipes, many of which relax the strict ‘elimination’ regime.
I found myself loving her Avocado Toast, relishing the Super Crispy Roast Chicken and feasting on the Grilled Steak with Melted Anchovies and Rosemary. (‘I don’t eat red meat,’ Gwyneth writes in the preface to this dish, ‘but sometimes a man needs a steak.’)
By the time I meet Gwyneth, by a roaring log fire in her North London home, which she shares with her rock-star husband Chris Martin and their children Apple, nine, and Moses, seven, the pages of my copy of It’s All Good have more ingredients stuck to them in just one week than any other celebrity-chef book in my kitchen.
Clean living: The scare forced Gwyneth to change her diet and banish dairy, eggs, sugar, corn, wheat, gluten, potatoes, tomatoes, red meat, shell or deep-water fish for her new cook book
But then Gwyneth’s motivation in writing this â€" her second cookery book â€" had nothing to do with winning Michelin stars or promoting a spin-off TV show.
What led her to create these recipes was a frightening experience â€" in the garden of her London home on a spring day in 2011 â€" when she lost control of her right hand and suffered a blinding pain in her head that was so extreme she thought she was having a stroke.
Gwyneth was, in fact, suffering from a ‘horrible migraine’ and a panic attack, but in the days that followed she underwent a series of tests that revealed a number of disturbing health issues.
‘I was a mess. I was vitamin-D deficient, I had anaemia, I had thyroid issues, my liver was congested, I had hormonal imbalances and a benign tumour on my ovary that had to be removed â€" I mean, it was crazy. I knew it was time for change.
‘My children ask me to have a baby all the time, but I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third and it didn’t work out’
It was my doctor and good friend Dr Alejandro Junger who suggested I should clean out my system by following an elimination diet for 21 days,’ she says.
The thought of giving up so much of the food she loved (‘cheese, red wine, french fries, pasta and baguettes straight out of the oven’) was unnerving, but after three difficult weeks of deprivation she felt cleansed and cured.
It was the discovery, when she returned to Dr Junger, that the elimination diet was not a quick fix but a regime that she should follow ‘for life’ that inspired the idea for It’s All Good.
Acknowledging the fact that following these strict new dietary guidelines made her feel good, she took on the challenge of trying to make them taste good.
With her friend and co-author Julia Turshen, she began the long ‘but crazy fun’ process of creating ‘super-healthy recipes’ that would be as simple as they were scrumptious.
‘Creating a meal for my friends and family, sitting together, eating, laughing and talking â€" that is when I am so happy. Oh my God, if you could see how much food I make â€" I am the original Jewish mother. Making meals from these new recipes that look, smell and taste like the food I always cooked but are also super-healthy is an added joy,’ she enthuses.
My 'mishpocheh': Gwyneth with her late father Bruce and mother Blythe Danner in 2002
From right: With Moses and Apple on a recent trip to St Lucia, and with husband Chris Martin in 2003, the year they married
If it had taken me a week to fall for her recipes, it takes me about five minutes to be totally in thrall to Gwyneth herself.
In fact, I am so charmed by her that I begin to harbour fantasies of becoming her new best friend.
And I do not believe that even her harshest critics â€" those envious cyber trolls who subscribe to, but mock, Gwyneth’s weekly online blog Goop (in which she shares ‘all life’s positives’, offering helpful tips on everything from fashion to the fiscal cliff) â€" would be able to resist her either.
Jet-lagged (she has just arrived back from a flying visit to New York to celebrate her actress-mother Blythe Danner’s 70th birthday) and suffering from a cold, she is gentle, inspiring, funny, a little irreverent and very honest.
 ‘Regardless of what happens in our marriage, I chose the best father. Chris is so good to the children’
When I confess that the previous evening I had cooked one of her recipes (Teriyaki Chicken) but had been unable to resist accompanying it with two large glasses of red wine, she says, ‘Oh God, I do that, too. Every day. I really like a martini or a glass of red wine in the evening. I think it’s a really nice way to say, “OK, it’s adult time now.†Having lived in England for so long, I have become a real booze hound. All you guys drink so much, me included. A glass of red wine is excellent for you, but I tend to not stop there,’ she says with a conspiratorial grin.
There are other confessions, too, and our conversation goes way beyond fermented soya beans to subjects such as cosmetic surgery, her friendship with Jay-Z and Beyoncé and her admiration for the Duchess of Cambridge.
But she is at her most endearing when she touches on family life.
Family has always been important; she adores her younger brother Jake, 37, and says that she had a ‘love of your life’ relationship with her late father, the director Bruce Paltrow, who died in 2002 and inspired her first cookbook My Father’s Daughter.
Her bond with her mother was, she admits, not as intense.
Open heart: Gwyneth confesses that she is 'missing' her third child and that her children Apple and Moses keep asking for a sibling
‘I wouldn’t say I’m a mummy’s girl, but I have grown to have a tremendous appreciation of her as a woman. I was very much a daddy’s girl. I still feel the loss. I cried about my father today. I just thought, “I need my dadâ€. He died ten years ago, but the grief doesn’t get less intense, it just hits you less frequently,’ she says softly.
Gwyneth has ploughed her own path, willingly scaling down her acting career â€" which took off when she was 19 and gained her an Oscar for her role in Shakespeare in Love by the time she was
26 â€" for the sake of her family; taking on roles, such as Robert Downey Jr’s foil Pepper Potts in the Iron Man movies, that involve the minimum disruption to her children’s lives (the longest she has been away from them is nine days). When I ask if she is a mother first, she fires back, ‘First and second and third!’
Hands-on with h er children, she takes and collects them from school, hangs out with the other mums and does her best to give them a normal life.
Something, she says, that is far more possible in London than it would be in New York or Los Angeles.
‘In Britain, they have a lot of laws to protect you and we enforce them very strongly so that our children can stay private figures, and the British press leave us alone, which is great. It means we can go on the tube into the centre of London because it’s quicker and more fun for the kids. We can do normal things. Last weekend, Chris and Moses went to a football match together and Apple and I walked down Hampstead High Street and got an ice cream.’
Right choice: Paltrow said that her husband Chris Martin is the best father to their two children
Throughout their married life, Gwyneth and Chris Martin, 36, have avoided being photographed together â€" something that may have prompted gossip about their relationship but, more importantly, has been a major factor in preserving the privacy and security of a family life that is surprisingly traditional.
While Gwyneth is effusive in her praise for Chris, she admits he is no domestic god, having attempted to cook just twice and with disastrous results. ‘The first time I was breast-feeding Apple and was exhausted, and he said, “You go upstairs and have a bath and relax and I will make dinner.â€
So there I was, the baby asleep, finally relaxing when the fire alarm went off, and then the fire brigade arrived.
A week or so later, he had another go and set fire to the kitchen again and when the fire brigade arrived they said, “Have you been cooking again, Chris?â€â€™ she says, laughing at the memory.
Marriage, as Gwyneth has said, is ‘complicated’, and although what she says doesn’t conform to the unrealistic happy-ever-after clichés that we have come to expect from celebrity couples, there is no denying the depth of feeling she has for her husband.
‘Regardless of what happens in our marriage, I chose the best father. He is so good to the children, and to know that you had kids with such a good man is like a real weight off you. We are committed co-parents, we make all the decisions together and we lean on each other for support as well,’ she says.
Next up: Gwyneth reprises her role as Pepper Potts in Iron Man 3 on British screens 25th April
When Chris is away touring or recording with Coldplay they FaceTime each other on their iPhones every day. When they are together, the house is filled with laughter.
‘My husband makes me laugh every day. He is hilarious â€" he could have been a comedian, but he keeps it under wraps. He can laugh me out of a bad moment just like that,’ she says.
Gwyneth is anything but the controlling mother that she has sometimes been portrayed as in the media.
Rather she is soft and loving and is at her most emotional when talking about motherhood. Apple loves to bake and sing, but her new ambition, inspired by her passion for animals, is to become a vet (‘she supports the RSPCA and is a committed vegetarian â€" I think she really belongs in Stella McCartney’s house,’ Gwyneth says affectionately).
THE TALENTED MS PALTROW
The Oscar-winning actress’s resumé…
Sliding Doors 1998
Shakespeare in Love 1998
The Talented Mr Ripley 1999
The Royal Tenebaums 2001
Shallow Hal 2001
Contagion 2011
Thanks for Sharing 2012
Iron Man 3 2013
Meanwhile, Moses is ‘kind and cuddly’ and absolutely ‘delish’ (an Anglicism that Gwyneth uses a lot) and very much his father’s son, playing drums, guitar and violin and writing songs.
She relishes the mother-son relationship and has embraced his hobbies, spending hours acting as his ‘Lego sous-chef’, laying out the pieces for him as he constructs spaceships and castles.
Fame, Gwyneth is the first to admit, can be ‘isolating’, and she is enthusiastic in her praise for the Duchess of Cambridge’s seamless and graceful move from ‘commoner’ to royal.
‘I don’t think she has ever put a foot wrong. I think she is beautiful and clever and it’s great that she wears high street. I am a huge fan but I have never met her,’ she says.
There is a peal of laughter and a hint of a blush when I mention that she has met Prince Philip, several years ago at the relaunch of the Arts Club in London’s Dover Street.
The Prince was clearly enthralled by Gwyneth and her close friend Cameron Diaz, staying late at the party to hear Gwyneth sing. ‘He was lovely and so funny. He is quite naughty and irreverent. He was my partner at dinner â€" I had a great evening,’ she says.
Although Gwyneth says that the majority of her closest friends are not famous â€" mostly old school pals â€" she admits that she does have ‘a few really good famous friends’, such as Stella McCartney, Robert Downey Jr, Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson (whose children are like cousins to Moses and Apple).
Closest of all are Mr and Mrs Jay-Z Carter who â€" along with her in-laws (her mother-in-law Alison spends every Thursday with Gwyneth and the children) â€" she regards as part of her mishpocheh (a Yiddish word for ‘your gang, your family’).
‘Jay is like a big-brother figure to me, he has a very calming and mature energy. He is an amazing force in our life â€" the kids call him Uncle Jay and Beyoncé, Auntie B. I was a mum before B so I suppose I may have passed on some advice but I have learnt so much from her, too.
She is gorge ous, very feminine, very clever in that she knows how to be powerful and yet demure. And their baby Blue Ivy is totally delish. She’s made me very broody.’
Might she, I ask, consider having another baby?
‘My children ask me to have a baby all the time and you never know â€" I could squeeze one more in. I am missing my third. I am thinking about it. But I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third and it didn’t work out and I nearly died. So I am, like, “Are we good here or should we go back and try again?â€â€™ she says before changing the subject.
At 40, Gwyneth feels liberated and newly ‘awake’ and looks years younger but totally natural. How has she managed to remain looking so youthful?
‘I don’t mind a few wrinkles and freckles. I had this laser treatment recently, Thermage, and it took a couple of years off m y face, but I haven’t had any plastic surgery yet. Maybe one day I will, although
I don’t like the idea of it. I prefer the thought of ageing in the way French actresses do â€" have the odd cigarette and glass of wine and just enjoy life.’
There is something exciting about the idea of this relaxed post-40 Gwyneth Paltrow. She confesses that ‘the bane’ of her existence has been her ‘perfectionism’ â€" something she now thinks borders on a ‘personality disorder’ and she is working hard to undo.
‘Life isn’t perfect. We are human beings, we are totally flawed and you just set yourself up for disappointment and shame if you try to be perfect. There is no point,’ she says with conviction.
The only role that really inspires her now is motherhood (although she does say she would like to ‘do a musical movie that was original and different’).
As I leave â€" proving my enthusiasm for her book by showing her my grubby and much-thumbed copy â€" she looks at her smiling cover picture.
‘I look a mess, no make-up and my naturally frizzy hair un-brushed. But it was taken while we were cooking for real and I thought, “this is me, this is how I amâ€. I think it says something about how I have learnt to accept myself.’
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