- Louise Van der Velde, 38, is a Harley Street relationship therapist from Camberley, Surrey
- Brands monogamous relationships 'outdated'
- Insists she shields children - daughter, 11, and son, 16 - from her sex life
- Believes people who say they are happily married are deluding themselves
- One of her lovers appeared on Channel 4's Secret Millionaire
- Has written a book to explain her 'relationship model' to others
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Most people would find juggling two adolescent children, a Harley Street therapy practice and just one relationship time consuming enough.
But 38-year-old widow Louise Van der Velde, from Camberley, Surrey, is not most people, and after the death of her doctor husband nine years ago the mother-of-two decided she wanted more than one man in her life - and that marriage was for 'mugs'.
Now the sex therapist maintains relationships with three men - a property tycoon, a multimillionaire who runs a solar panel company in Dubai, and her 'bit of rough' electrician - and has written a book telling others how they could do the same.
Louise Van der Velde practices as a sexual and relationship expert in Harley Street and her own retreat in Marbella, Spain
'There are simply far too many great men out there for me to settle for just one,' said the middle-class mother, who says each man she is dating knows they are not in an exclusive relationship with Louise, but are still perfectly happy with the arrangement.
Louise, who practices as a sexual and relationship expert both in Harley Street and at her own retreat in Marbella, Spain, says her model won't work for everyone, but it has brought her happiness.
She said: 'If you are having great sex and great relationships all areas of your life are impacted positively. Some people find happiness in a relationship with one person. I have it with three.'
Insisting she doesn't feel cheap sharing her body with more than one lover, Louise added: 'The fact is, I have a deep connection with all three men.
'Yes I have sex with all of them but not at the same time. I wouldn't say that I have a ridiculously high sex drive. The average person has sex two or three times a week - I might be a little bit more than that, but not much more.'
Louise says she is completely happy with her three lovers, as are they
Maintaining that she shields her two children - a daughter aged 11 and a son of 16 - from her private life, Louise explained how she has been seeing the 40-year-old Dubai-based solar panel tycoon for the past six years after meeting by chance at an airport.
'He is aware that I see other men and is quite happy with the situation,' she said.
She was introduced to lover number two - a London-based property tycoon in his 30s who appeared on Channel 4's Secret Millionaire - by mutual friend, and they have been seeing each other for a year.
'He is very sexy and dynamic - I have always been attracted to high-achieving men,' she said.
Lover number three is a young electrician who lives near her in Surrey - and is happy to pop round when she asks.
'He is great - we met quite by chance after we got chatting on the train to London. He is quite young and completely different to my other two lovers.'
Louise claims the arrangement works because she has always been completely honest with her partners.
'I have counselled numerous people and have seen how it can work for them too. We are all on a different journey. You have to follow your gut feelings to achieve happiness.'
Louise also believes many people are 'deluding themselves' when they say are happily married.
She saidl: 'The controversial truth is that the state of marriage - and, more importantly, the monogamy it entails - isn't really working for most people in today's society.
'Okay, it works for some, and that's wonderful when it does bring happiness. I've got the utmost respect for their choice.
'But the sad reality is that many people simply cannot live up to the expectations of life and sex with a single partner.
'And that almost inevitably causes cheating, marital breakdowns, recriminations, divorce, spousal abandonment and misery.'
Louise has outlined how her new model for relationships in a new book, Decent Proposal.
She explained: 'What if the fairytale version of love and marriage we stumbled upon in storybooks when we were kids, is simply incompatible with the modern world?
'Why in the 21st century do we still keep trying to make an outdated model of relationships work? Why don't we have the honesty and integrity to admit we all want a bit more out of life?'
'Look around you. How many friends are now on their second - or even third - marriages? Be honest. Count them.
'The sad fact is that too many relationships are coiled with deceit, insecurity or just plain apathy, as the foundations at their core were wrong from the start.
'So why in the 21st century do we still keep trying to make an outdated model of relationships work? Why don't we have the honesty and integrity to admit we all want a bit more out of life?'
Saying that 'many people simply don't have time for the old model of relationship', Louise feels many people are instead choosing to spend time with lots of people they like.
Louise Van der Velde has now written a book, left, explaining how other people can use her 'relationship model'
'Opening the door to your heart so wide it's okay for people to come and go as they choose isn't always easy and it's not for everyone. I understand that.
'That way we can make ourselves and others happy, without the pressures or expectations that arise from a traditional, and, I would argue, outdated, one-man, one-woman relationship. It seems so obvious to me now.
'I'm living the new model of relationships, and I can assure you, it not only works, it'll help you reach new heights of intimacy, that you may not have ever previously dreamed possible.'
Decent Proposal by Louise Van der Velde is available on Kindle via Amazon. Louise's website is www.pleasureprofessor.com
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